Be Here Now
by Hoshi Ayaka
Summary: Hakkai teaches Gojyo what it means to "be here now." Gojyo has his own interpretation. Rated M for yaoi type lemony-goodness. One-Shot


Be Here Now

Hoshi Ayaka

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Saiyuki...if I did, there would be more obvious boy love. 3

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"Like this Gojyo. This leg should be on top."

Gojyo chuckled quietly to himself. "Um, 'Kai, I don't think my body will bend that way."

Hakkai laughed out loud and moved from his spot on the bed beside Gojyo. "Let me help you." He took Gojyo's left leg in his hands and tried to carefully place it on top of his right. Gojyo reached out a hand to steady himself causing his leg to just slide right back to it's original position. Gojyo and Hakkai laughed in unison, Hakkai's light snicker mingling with Gojyo's well rounded burst.

"Just keep your legs folded in close to your body Gojyo. It really doesn't matter anyway. It's the act itself that's significant."

Hakkai sat down gently next to Gojyo and easily folded his legs back into the correct position and closed his eyes. Gojyo studied him for a minute and drew his legs in closer to his body trying to concentrate on keeping his long legs folded neatly.

"Relax Gojyo. There's no wrong way to do this."

"Easier said than done 'Kai. Not only am I trying to move my body into a foreign position, I'm trying to do it naked...it doesn't help that you are too."

Hakkai's good eye peeked open to peer at Gojyo. "Your mind is wandering Gojyo."

Gojyo sighed and relaxed into position. He could feel Hakkai's knee against his own, could feel his even breaths and it helped him to focus.

"Now, close your eyes and just breathe."

Gojyo closed his eyes and thought about breathing. Each breath brought Hakkai's scent in waves that spiraled through his brain. He tried to concentrate on Hakkai's voice. Tried to hear what the next steps would be as he wondered why he'd asked Hakkai to teach him about meditation.

"The point of meditation Gojyo, is to just _be._ Just be aware of when your mind drifts and bring it back to_ now_. Bring yourself back and just be _here_."

Gojyo held back a laugh. To just _be._ An interesting concept.

Gojyo could feel Hakkai relax even more into _being_. Hakkai's body next to him felt loose, easy. He could feel Hakkai's even breathing. He tried hard to match his breaths to Hakkai's. _Don't think _he told himself. _Just be here now._ He could feel Hakkai's elbow rubbing gently against his own with each inhaled breath, and tried not to think about it.

"Gojyo..."

Gojyo brought his thoughts back to the meditation. _Don't think about how soft his skin feels. Don't think about the fact that Hakkai, brilliant, magnificent, sublime, Hakkai is sitting naked next..._

"Gojyo, you're not here."

Gojyo's eyes snapped open as he turned his head to look at Hakkai.

"How the hell do you know what I'm thinking?"

Hakkai sighed quietly. "I can feel it in your body Gojyo. You're not relaxing. You're stiff with tension."

Gojyo snorted at the word _stiff._ "You're _naked_ 'Kai."

"You are too."

Gojyo looked down at his body and actually felt himself blush. _Yeah, I'm naked too._

"Should we put some clothes..."

"NO!"

Hakkai chuckled again. "Try again Gojyo. I'll leave you alone to let you focus and arrange your thoughts."

Gojyo closed his eyes again, began to relax. He could feel a slight breeze against his skin. _We must have left the window open slightly. Shit, focus. _Gojyo shifted his position again trying once again to focus on just being there. _There's no way to grasp now._ Once the thought stuck in his mind, Gojyo knew he'd found a starting point. He felt his body settle deeper into the mattress, felt his breathing begin to regulate itself. _Now is now. Each moment becomes now._ With each breath Gojyo realized it was a new moment. Now was always changing, moving, flowing into each new juncture.

Beside Gojyo, Hakkai smiled to himself. He knew Gojyo would find his rhythm. It was always hard to meditate the first few times. It was so easy to focus on _doing it right _and forget that there was no right way. The right way was always whatever brought some peace. He was thankful for the time he'd spent with Sanzo in learning the practice. It helped to stop some of his more morbid thoughts sometimes, just bringing himself back to _now._ Actually, Gojyo was doing rather well. His body had really loosened up and his breathing was even and steady. Gojyo was a _very good_ student.

Hakkai moved slow and smooth to lean his back against the wall. He didn't want to interrupt Gojyo's state of mind but he wanted to watch him. If he could keep an eye on his breathing and the movements of his body, he could help Gojyo bring his thoughts back around if they began to drift. Hakkai watched as Gojyo took strong centered breaths. The expanding and contracting of his ribs was constant. It was like Gojyo had finally grown comfortable in his own skin. His movements were like a sigh, soft and gentle. Hakkai's eyes traveled over the muscles of Gojyo's shoulders and over each small point of his spine. He felt himself shudder as reached out to trace his fingers down the back of Gojyo's well defined arms. Hakkai saw goosebumps sweep along Gojyo's body and felt a catch in his chest. _Well then, let's give the student a new lesson to learn._

Gojyo suddenly became aware of Hakkai's position behind him. He hadn't really noticed that Hakkai had even moved. He'd become so caught up in the simplicity of _now_ that everything else had faded away for the moment. When he felt Hakkai's fingers trail down the back of his arms Gojyo lost his breathing pattern.

"Sometimes Gojyo, you'll feel the need to meditate, but there will be distractions." Hakkai's hand moved to cup his elbow. His fingers wrapped around to the underside of Gojyo's arm and he gently ran the pads of his fingers over the skin in the crook of his arm.

"It's important to find yourself with all the distractions. You may not be able to block them all out, but you should be able to concentrate, focus, and meditate through them."

Hakkai's hand moved gently back up Gojyo's arm and over his shoulder. Hakkai's fingers caressed his throat and Gojyo found he couldn't suppress his moan.

"You should relax and focus Gojyo..."

Gojyo took a deep breath and tried to draw his thoughts back to his meditation. If he really thought about it, _now_ would be Hakkai's fingers on his body, Hakkai's palm burning his skin in the exploration. Each stroke from Hakkai brought a deep breath from Gojyo. He relaxed into the feel of Hakkai's touch. Hakkai's hand travelled down his chest and back up to run over his shoulder again. Hakkai leaned over and placed a light kiss on the back of Gojyo's neck. With his hands, Hakkai carefully pulled the rubberband from Gojyo's hair and watched it cascade down over his shoulders in a flaming surge. He brushed the hair away and continued placing wet kisses along the ridge of Gojyo's shoulder while exploring the furrows of his ribs.

Gojyo did his best to keep his breathing at an even pace. It was an incredibly hard thing to do with Hakkai teasing him into a frenzy. He could feel his cock hard and heavy between his legs as he ached for Hakkai. _Now _was Hakkai's mouth on him, his tongue darting out to taste the hollows in his shoulders. Gojyo repressed another moan and willed his hands to stay still.

Hakkai edged closer to Gojyo and brought his mouth down on his neck. He could feel the groan in Gojyo's throat as he sucked gently at the sensitive flesh, only hard enough to feel good without leaving a mark. Hakkai could feel the twitch in Gojyo's arms as the bigger man tried to restrain himself from moving. Hakkai's chuckle was husky in Gojyo's ear.

"Are you focusing Gojyo?" Hakkai's voice was just a whisper. "Is it hard to concentrate with...distractions?"

Gojyo held his breath. There was no way he would let Hakkai win this one. Hakkai wanted him to break away from his thoughts. Wanted him to whimper and lose control. What Gojyo wanted was to flip around, push Hakkai into the bed, bury himself deeply, and pray that _now_ would never end. Instead, he took an even breath and fought for control.

Hakkai slid from the bed to kneel before Gojyo. His hands stroked up Gojyo's knees and over the insides of his thighs.

"Gojyo?"

Gojyo nodded his head, refusing to open his eyes. If he looked at Hakkai, he knew what little control he had would be lost.

Hakkai leaned up on his knees and pressed kisses to the heels of Gojyo's feet. He could feel the waves of pleasure washing through Gojyo, he couldn't hide the shiver. Hakkai let his hands wander to Gojyo's stomach. He wanted to laugh at the sob Gojyo had choked back in his throat. He knew Gojyo wanted his touch, wanted to grab him, wanted him so bad it hurt. Hakkai let his hands run slowly up Gojyo's body, over his nipples, his chest, his shoulders, and finally into his thick, beautiful hair as he rose to stand before him. He let his fingers play with the crimson strands as he pulled Gojyo's head forward to rest on his belly.

"Gojyo, there is no set time for medit..."

Gojyo was up and off the bed shoving Hakkai back toward the wall opposite. His hands were everywhere at once. He'd ached to feel this man beneath him and he would have him now. Gojyo slammed his mouth down on Hakkai's and groaned at the feel of Hakkai's tongue already meeting his own. That first taste of Hakkai always made Gojyo's blood burn. His pants and moans were loud, even in his own ears. He pulled his mouth away from Hakkai's.

"I'm going to have you _now_, Hakkai..." Gojyo shoved him harder against the wall and locked his mouth onto Hakkai's neck and tried to subdue the urge to bite down hard. He pulled away again afraid he would lose control.

"_Fuck, Hakkai...Fuck!"_

Hakkai shoved Gojyo back to the bed while capturing his mouth with his own again. Gojyo twisted at the last second and fell into the bed after Hakkai. Gojyo's laugh was dark as he laid himself across Hakkai. He kissed Hakkai hard as he reached in the small drawer at the side of the bed. It only took him seconds to coat his fingers with the slippery gel and to push them inside of Hakkai. Hakkai's groan came from deep inside his chest and Gojyo felt like laughing out loud. _Serves him right for fucking with me like that..._

Gojyo used his other hand to slick his hard cock, moaning at the thought that he would be inside of Hakkai's body in just seconds. His fingers flicked a little roughly inside of Hakkai as he pumped and rubbed at himself enjoying the anticipation for a second longer. When his fingers left Hakkai, he positioned the head of his cock at Hakkai's entrance.

"_Here and now, Hakkai"_

Gojyo drove himself inside of Hakkai in one smooth thrust. Hakkai's intake of breath was a soft sob. Gojyo wrapped his long, lean fingers over Hakkai's hips and pulled him closer toward his body. Hakkai sobbed again and a grin spread across Gojyo's face. He began the long, sleek strokes that he knew would send Hakkai and himself to the edge. Over and over he rolled his hips, pushing and pulling until he could no longer keep his whimpers from escaping from his own throat. Gojyo looked down at Hakkai. His face was flushed, his mouth open, eyes squeezed shut as his little groans issued from deep inside. Gojyo reached out and grabbed Hakkai's cock in his hand and began a slow pumping motion.

"Are you _focusing_, Hakkai?"

Hakkai's laugh was promptly followed by a groan as Gojyo pumped harder inside of him.

"Relax Hakkai...you're so..._stiff."_

Gojyo could barely contain his own laughter as Hakkai laughed and groaned at the same time.

Gojyo leaned further over Hakkai's body and rolled his hips to pump Hakkai with longer strokes. His hand on Hakkai's length followed the same rhythm.

"Be _here_, Hakkai."

Gojyo's head came down and his mouth joined Hakkai's. Hakkai opened to him and welcomed him with joy. As their tongues met Gojyo could no longer control his release. He felt himself tightening as his whole body seemed to burst inside of Hakkai. Hakkai's own release was hard and hot on his belly as he felt Gojyo's body stiffen in and over him. His breath was coming in pants as Gojyo collapsed on top of him.

The two lay entwined for a moment as Gojyo tried to catch his breath. Hakkai's hands were tangled tightly in Gojyo's hair. His grip a signal that he did not want Gojyo to get up. Hakkai squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to gain a modicum of control over his body. When Gojyo finally rolled from Hakkai he lay close enough that their heads could rest against each other. He grabbed Hakkai's hand in his own and entwined their fingers. Hakkai could hear the smile in Gojyo's voice.

"I think I _really_ like meditating, 'Kai."

Hakkai's laugh was real and golden.

"You know Gojyo, it works best if you establish a routine...like every nite before going to bed."

Gojyo's laugh was deep and wicked as he enveloped Hakkai in his arms.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story! Feedback is always appreciated.


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